7 things you need to know about happiness
7 insights to celebrate our 7th birthday
Hello everybody,
It’s our birthday!
This week we’re celebrating 7 years of the Shelf Help Club.
And I saw ‘we’ and not ‘me’ because - as I said to some of our members at our birthday brunch in London this weekend - Shelf Help has always been a collaboration.
Yes, it did begin as a little idea in my head as I realised I needed to make some big changes (and that I was going to need some support to make these changes).
But this idea in my head quickly became a meeting of the hearts and minds of the readers and seekers who showed up to join the Club (and me) and who continue to show up to do this work.
I may be captaining this ship, but we only move forward when our crew is on board.
So this week is really a celebration of 7 years of all of you who continue to show up to support me, the Club, yourselves and each other as we sail these unknown waters of life and love and change together.
Thank you for being here.
This week is also the last week of our Build the Life You Want Read-along.
If you’ve been reading the BOTM with us I hope you’ve enjoyed learning about the power of metacognition (thinking about thinking) and the four pillars of ‘happier-ness’.
We’ll be getting together TONIGHT for our last Book Club meetup for this book (members joining info at the bottom of the email).
And below, in the spirit of all things 7, I’ve shared 7 of my highlights from it (we’ll be focusing on the thread of love and the importance of becoming a happiness teacher in tonight’s session).
🙂 7 INSIGHTS from BOTM, Build the Life You Want 🙂
Happiness isn’t a feeling it’s a skill and therefore something we can all get better at. Being a cheerful person is not something we are simply born with (or without). Yes, we will all have different dispositions (discover yours using the PANI questionnaire at Arthur Brooks’ website) but whether you’re a Cheerleader (in a high mood most of the time) or a POET (mostly low) there are lots of ways you can work on getting happier.
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When it comes to families, conflict is the cost of abundant love. “Trying to avoid unhappiness is never the way to make life better,” says Arthur. Instead we should expect, accept and manage conflict in a way that keeps our connections solid and satisfying.
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Without friends we cannot thrive. Friendship accounts for almost 60% of the difference in happiness between individuals! (And that’s the same for introvert and extroverts). If you’re lucky enough to have real friendships then make it a priority to nurture them. If you don’t have solid friendships, now’s the time to prioritise making new ones (the same way you might prioritise looking for a new romantic partner or job).
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When it comes to happiness at work, the fulfilment and enjoyment you get from a job (intrinsic rewards) are way more important than what you get paid (extrinsic rewards). Do what you love or find a way to love what you do (or find a new way to make a living).
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Seeking and following a spiritual path gives us a better perspective and makes us happier by taking the focus off ourselves and putting it instead on others and “the majesties of the Universe.”
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Love is the most important happiness building block of all: firstly loving yourself enough to do the work, then love for your family and friends, also love ‘made visible by bringing your best self to work’, and love for life through your spiritual journey.
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Teaching others to be happier is the best way to absorb these ideas. Teaching as you learn is the best way to solidify ideas in your own mind. Plus, the world 100% needs more happiness warriors.
Join us TONIGHT for our closing Book Club for Build the Life You Want.
And stay tuned for the next BOTM and November events schedule announced this Friday 1st Nov…
With love from SH HQ,
Toni 💛
