Big weekend? Bigger week looming?! Here's how to manage your social battery and boundaries
7 Ways to Recharge Your Social Battery from tonight's guest author and professional conversationalist, Josh Smith
Hello everybody 👋
How’s your social battery this Monday? (That’s your inner energy level representing your capacity, and the mental and physical resources you have to interact with others).
Mine is a little low after a busy but brilliant weekend (Stevie Nicks AND Kylie at Hyde Park and Happy Place festival fun) but I’ll be intentionally spending today recharging, ready to bring the chat with Great Chat author and old friend, Josh Smith tonight.
(paid subscribers will find their joining link at the end of this email)
Podcast host and celebrity interviewer Josh can teach us a lot about the art of conversation (often chatting to A listers, including Victoria Beckham and OPRAH 🤩), and as I am a big fan of bringing people together to share about BIG things, I understand that it helps if we actually know how to talk to each other.
In his new book, Great Chat, Josh shares seven lessons for better conversations, deeper connections and improved well-being, and one of these is ‘The Power of Knowing Your Social Battery & Boundaries’.
He says that understanding our social battery is one of the keys to having successful and fulfilling conversations, and friendships.
We all understand the world differently and there are many variables that can boost or deplete your social battery. These variables could involve a specific type of event or the physical space you find yourself in. You could be drained by crowded spaces. You could be affected by a specific person or the number of people you are conversing with. You could get energy from DMCs (deep meaningful conversations) or you could get energy from small talk.
Josh Smith
Tonight at our online event with Josh we’ll be diving into social batteries and boundaries, and working on his TIER SYSTEM exercise to rate and place the connections in your life across four tiers to ensure that you are giving your energy to the right people. Prepare for some culling (eeeek!) and a new kind of peace (aaaaaah).
You can check out Josh’s podcast HERE, and his YouTube Channel HERE and in the meantime, I’ve shared seven ways to recharge in today’s Bookish Stuff…
See you on screen!
Toni 💛
7 Ways to Recharge Your Social Battery (from Great Chat)
Looking after your social battery starts with reminding yourself that your own needs are not fixed and that you need different kinds of conversation and different spaces at different times. This all ebbs and flows depending on what's going on in your life. Whatever you are going through, there are some very simple things you can do to help recharge your social battery:
BUILD RECHARGING TIME INTO YOUR SCHEDULE:
I now put 'social blackouts' in my calendar, says Josh, which is where I block out time - it could be entire days or just a few hours - when I know not to socialise and instead spend time alone and doing anything from a nap to doing a workout that might energise me. If going to parties drains your social battery or demands a lot from you, you need to start ensuring you have a chilled day beforehand and afterwards to have the energy to show up and be present.
VARY YOUR SOCIAL CALENDAR ACCORDING TO THE EVENTS YOU HAVE BOOKED: For example, if you have a wedding next weekend, don't book an absolute rager on the day you come back or before. Or if you always have busy working weeks, stick to socialising at the weekends. You should also vary the things you do with people so you don't feel like you are doing the same thing over and over, which will only drain you further. Going on a big night out with your mates constantly can be fun - been there, done that - but it can and does get tiring on so many levels.
ERADICATE THE FEAR OF. MISSING OUT: If you need to recharge and no longer need to go to something or see someone, but you feel the fear in the pit of your stomach that you won't be able to bear seeing other people have fun, PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY. It can be the fear of missing out that drives us to go, but guess what? You aren't missing out if you don't go and you don't look at what happened afterwards. Mute those friends on that night out and that group chat. They will be over that night out in a day anyway.
FIND AND BE WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE FOUNTAINS NOT DRAINS: Being aware of the effects other people's energy is having on you is critical. Stop wasting your time on people who don't give you the same time back but happily drain you. Why are we still messaging and replying to friends from ten years ago when the connection is gone? One of the steps in looking after your social battery is to cut people out who drain you, your resources and your time, in order to focus your energies on proper communication.
DROP THE EXPECTATIONS ON YOUR SOCIAL REWARDS: Not everything is going to fulfil you and be a 10/10 good time, or it may go from a 0 to a 10 really quickly. Try to go with the flow; it's far less draining.
YOUR ENERGY GOES WHERE YOUR ATTENTION FLOWS: So always put your energy into the places that require the most attention and are most beneficial to you right now. That means going to the social events or hangouts that add value to your life and saying no to invites that you usually love, if you need to prioritise other aspects of your life temporarily. It's about balance.
ABOVE ALL, YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE: The only person who truly knows your needs is you, and you can't expect others to be dialled into your social battery levels. There's no shame in being a social butterfly one month and a hermit the next, but you do need to take responsibility for communicating those needs to yourself and others - whether that's because you need to spend some more time with someone because you are seeking a deeper connection or gently letting people know that today is not the day for hanging out.
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Please use the link below to join tonight’s event with Josh from 7pm (latecomers will be admitted, you may just be waiting a few minutes).